The following horror story is like so many in the world where a sexually abusive father fights tooth and nail to get his victims back. The children are trying to heal and yet their father continues to try gain access to his victims unsupervised. A mother made a promise to her children that they would be safe forever…mothers always keep their promises.
I am a devoted, loving and protective Canadian mom of 4 stunning children. My name is Cara and I am being held captive in a country that claims liberty and justice for all and yet this is not the case here in America and globally. Our captor is our abuser, the ransom, their childhood and our freedom to live a life without abuse. I am being forced to file paperwork that our abuser refused to file for me as it was part of his abuse arsenal over me during our marriage to keep me in my place. I have no legal rights unless I can afford to pay for them and more importantly, as survivors of domestic violence and our boys, child abuse, we are being re victimized by the very systems that took an oath to serve and protect, give due process and serve the best interest of the child.
I came to America engaged to a man who gave me his word he’d take care of me. We have 2 boys together. I left a marriage I thought would last the rest of my life, well, that was until I realized we were in danger. In Nov 2004 after careful planning I saw the window of opportunity to get myself and our 2 boys out safely. In the middle of the night, a friend came to pick us up and drive us to our safe place. A woman’s shelter in PA. I tucked my then 10mos and 22mos old boys into our bed and for the first time since coming to America, we slept in peace. No more did I fear waking up to a gun pointing at my head, no longer did I hear his words of how he was going to kill me and bury me all over the States, no more did I hear him spew his venom at our toddlers. Finally, we were safe…or so I thought. Little did I know what would be in store for us over the course of the upcoming yrs. We were at the gates of Hell and didn’t even know it…until now.
I tried to be the friendly parent, I tried to co-parent, I just wanted to know our safety would be priority to family courts. Sadly, this was not the case and still, abuse lurks in corners. Our abuser used the family courts and his attorney as extensions of his abuse. We had Protection from Abuse (PFA’s) orders issued against him, we had witnesses and documentation to substantiate our claims. Mandated reporters called CPS (Child Protective Services) a total of 10-12 times only one report was treated with the respect and safety the children deserved which resulted in 2 supported investigations of sexual abuse against their father; our abuser. After 6 years of torment, taunting and judicial abuse the childrens cries were heard. It no longer mattered to me that the Courts belittled and outright dismissed the domestic violence, all that mattered now was our 2 boys were BELIEVED. After 5&6 yrs of being their primary caretaker, Dec 2008 they were raped from my custody and placed with our abuser who at this time was now a 4 State drive away. Why the term rape, because I have been raped and the tearing away of your children to our abuser runs parallel to being raped by your attacker. The children testified to the abuse and the Judge dismissed their testimony, the Judge dismissed the treating psychologist would could substantiate the child’s fears and reactive behaviour. The only thing the Judicial system saw was an immigrant mother who was obviously making allegations to gain custody. Furthest from the truth. 70% of Batters gain custody when they file for it, 1.3% of abuse allegations are false, I’m not that 1.3% I was sadly awarded visitation and our abuser controlled even that. Then in March of 2009 without notice not more than 24 hrs of having the boys home, they both disclosed sexual abuse against their father. A forensic interview was completed in MA (our home State) and sent to PA the State of jurisdiction. The children were taken into protective custody and I was only afforded 3 phone calls in a 48 day period while our abuser was allowed continued supervised visitation once a week.
The children were so brave as they continued to disclose and sadly act out. The CPS investigator completed her findings and presented it to the Judge with the recommendation that the children be returned to my custody and that the children not remain in foster care. Our abuser testified that he’d rather see them in foster care than with me their mother. 3 days later the Honorable Judge Stein order the children back to me this time awarding me sole custody of our boys and giving our abuser supervised visits though a accredited centre that would ensure the children’s safety.
No sooner did this happen that our abuser filed for an appeal against the indicated reports of sexual abuse against our 2 sons. In Dec 2009 with less than 24hrs notice to appear in court 4 States away, the children were confronted by their abuser prior to testifying. The very man who had told the boys that if they told about “daddy’s secret” they could all go to jail, or even be killed. (nothing different from threats he had made to me during our marriage.) The boys asked me if they were going back to foster care and I had told them no, they asked why they were there and I told them because the Judge wants to hear what they told us and the investigator about the things they said about their dad. They also wanted confirmation that we’d then go home and I said yes, then we’d go straight home. Upon exiting, our youngest did state that he told a lie about me, when asked why, he sadly said he “was afraid that daddy’s lawyer would get mad” I told him not to worry, it would be okay.
May 15, 2010 I get notice in the mail via the attorney for CPS informing me that our abuser’s appeal before the Administrative Law Judge was granted and ordered CPS to expunge his record as “they did not convince me that they were telling the truth” He went further to state that “their mother influenced their testimony” and the “Appellant denied that he sexually abused the subject children. Appellant’s testimony was credible”
With this feather in his hat, our abuser has now served me with more litigation papers, this time seeking sole custody and to have my parental rights suspended pending a custody hearing. I have brought this to the attention of the boys treating specialists and they were not a bit surprised as they see this happen all to often to young children who have suffered child abuse and placed on an adult platform like testifying in court especially in the known presence of their abuser. So here we go back down the Rabbit Hole of a broken and failing family court system that is not protecting our children but rather trafficking them to the money whores of the CRT. Sadly, this is not just in America as I have found out and worse yet, I am not alone. This is a global crisis that is even taking place in my own home country of Canada.
Is no child safe anymore? Aren’t they WORTH SAVING?