A open letter to my former abuser(s)

Warrior Woman
Warrior Woman
The circle of abuse….still perpetrated by those men who get divorced and THEN decide to be a REAL father. Still perpetrated by these men who hail a murderous man who got a bad “deal” on his divorce. All men are not like YOU men. Some men don’t raise their hand or their voice to their beloved wives/girlfriends….mother of their child. I know because I have one of those men now….a REAL man.
This man I am now married to is level headed and listens to my opinions, dreams, thoughts and hopes for the future. This is the man who would never call me a whore, slut, tramp, bitch or the all time favorite…cunt. He calls me beautiful EVERY day. This man who doesn’t berate me in front of friends or forbid me from spending time with my family. A man who encourages me to follow my dreams that I thought once were lost. Who doesn’t constantly tell me I’m worthless or that I will never find ‘anyone’ else to love me (oh how you were wrong on that one!). Now I know how much of a liar you are. How deceptive to think that you could hit me how many times until the small fire of self worth I had left took over and I grew the courage to leave you once and for all.
You now know you were wrong…you should have killed me when you had the chance….you could have had a wonderful life….but you chose to deceive and abuse. I thank you for teaching me that even when I thought my life would never get any better than getting dragged out of bed by my hair at 4am while you were drunk because there was ONE dirty cup in the sink or even getting sodomized while I was asleep and I awoke to being tied to the bed while you made me bleed. After all of that…and more….you may have tried to break me….but I assure you I am not broken. I now have a life that I love, a man who adores me and 7 years to go until the child I share with you is 18 and I NEVER have to see your face again…nor will I.
So I am the lucky one…I am alive….I am happy…and you still are miserable….that to me is justice in itself. You can keep taking me back to court so you can lay your eyes upon me. You will never have me again, I am free. So go ahead dress up like Santa or the Easter Bunny and show the world what kind of man you really are. There are some men that made that murderous man out to be a martyr which I suspect  that those men are cut from the same cloth as my abuser or others. You should be ashamed of yourselves for everything that you’ve done to your wives/girlfriends but especially what you’ve done to your children.  But then I thank all the men that have ever abused me…..YOU have made me who I am today…..STRONGER.

“A strong woman is determined to do something others are determined not to be done.”~ Marge Piercy

One thought on “A open letter to my former abuser(s)

  1. wow. I just got my premarital asset home back January 1 after having left for the final time. I filed for divorce Oct. 29. It took almost two months to get a temporary motion for relief in court but I won. I got my house back, my kids back who were staying with their dad because my friend who is also a survivor didn’t have room for all of us. He left the house in a disaster. He left his son’s pet snake in my bathtub-alive- along with about five plastic bins full of my belongings. I guess he didn’t think to go buy his own. He and his newest left me a lovely message on my bathroom mirror in paint with a pair of her underwear. That’s just some of it. I’m still picking up the pieces. I have been in shock for a week. I’m going back to work tomorrow because I think I actually can. The fog is starting to lift some. I loved your letter. Mine was more psychological than physical abuse but that was starting. Thanks. I’m glad you wrote it. I intend to do something good with what I have learned about these men, not just yet, but I want to be an activist about this. It is so wrong. EW

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