“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” Elie Weisel from her 1986 Nobel acceptance speech.
I want to share an experience with you. I am and have been a volunteer mentor for women who are victims of domestic violence and are involved in custody issues. I am also a non-custodial mother. I talk to and offer support to women on a daily basis and have for some time, that is the backdrop for this event.
My best friend has a special needs daughter. When I lost custody of my child, she was there for me. She told me she needed help raising hers and would welcome my input. Her husband did not help much in that department. A few years back she asked for my input when Trinity wanted to play a game on line. Mom said it would help her with the math reinforcement she needed for school. I said it could get her started on gambling, because addictive behaviors go with her diagnosis, and because the game gave you bonus “money” for doing certain things. Mom said that was silly, because they have free offers with credit cards now and enticements for lower interest rates. Neither of us suspected the real problem.
There was a chat room in that game and she could make friends all over the world. She was having fun texting her friends from different countries and making pen pals. She met a guy in the chat room too. The guy took up a lot of her time, and encouraged her to use phone minutes she did not have. He helped her create a facebook, and helped her sign up for Skype. Trinity told her parents about the boy, and they thought it was cute. Trinity did not say he was a man, and all are unsure as to when she figured that out.
He encouraged her to take nude pictures of herself. Trinity has always had boundary issues, that symptom goes along with her diagnosis. Trinity wanted to please him, and asked if there were certain poses or what parts of her he wanted pictures of. Even though they were Skyping, they have an older computer that does not have a web cam.
When she asked for help setting up a web cam, her parents were eager to help her, and it was in that process they discovered some of the messages that were exchanged.
So…I asked what the police had to say. Mom said she never called them. I could not believe my ears! I said you HAVE to call them! Heaven only knows how many other children he has done this to or worse! Mom says he is in Europe, and they fear bringing it out in public will damage their child more than staying silent. I told her not saying anything sends a message to Trinity that the abuse is ok and she should just be silent, which is wrong.
Then my bestie stood up, and she is taller than me! It was an intimidating move on her part too! She said to me, “I was there when they took your child, I was in every court hearing by your side and I have read all your court papers. Do you know what I learned from that? I learned that you should have kept your mouth shut! Since that time through your talk and all your “advocacy” work I have learned that if I report this to the police, I can lose my child! I love you like a sister but I am not taking the same path you took! We will work this out as a family and some other family can expose him for what he is. Let them air out their families dirty little secrets for the world to see! I understand that we all need to take a stand against this crap to make it stop, but look at the girl in the military who reported her rape and all she has gone through!”
Some days I just wonder. My Bestie and I, as I look at our arguments past and present, I see we are both correct, just from different perspectives.
This is hip wader material. Are we as advocates actually encouraging women to stay silent when we share our experiences? Is this a cycle of it’s own? How can we encourage women to speak out when they see what happened to us when we spoke out? We know things are not going to change until all domestic violence is reported and addressed and the perpetrators actually get charged, yet when it gets reported we lose custody of our children and are often punished in other ways as well.
I am very tired of chasing my tail in this circle, and I am ready for the next generation of advocates to develop better strategies than we have.
© Mia Tyler Kailin
Oconto County Strikes OUT again
Once again, Oconto County Sheriffs Dept. and Detective Darren Laskowski, needed outside help to solve a fifteen year “cold case” murder. Fifteen years to the day that Chad McLean’s body was found in the Pensaukee River.
According to the criminal complaint, Peter Hanson and Charles Mlados were investigated since 1998 when Chad McLean went missing on the night of February 22, 1998. Hanson and Mlados were last seen with the victim, Chad McLean.
When you look at the evidence that they had fifteen years ago it would astound even a non criminal investigator could figure out that something was not right. Both Hanson and his friend Mlados were the last ones seen with the victim, McLean’s body was found less than a mile from Hanson’s home in Abrams Wisconsin. But it wasn’t law enforcement that brought this cold case to light in my opinion. It was the voice of Hanson’s ex-wife, Kathy Hanson, who was interviewed by Laskowski on September 24, 2009. Kathy had reported that her husband came home at 9:30pm on the evening of February 22, 1998 and noticed that her husband, Hanson, was “panicking and freaking out”. She saw blood on Hanson’s hands and provided him with “bleach” to help clean up the blood. Kathy Hanson will never see justice served as she is now also deceased. A few months after she gave her interview with Laskowski she “ allegedly” committed suicide in 2009. Not to mention that Hanson also “accidentally” shot and killed his brother long ago. People seem to die haphazardly around Peter Hanson it would seem. On May 12, 2008 Kathy Ann Hanson filed a temporary restraining order on then husband Peter Hanson in Oconto County. On June 9, 2008 the restraining order was dismissed by Judge Michael Judge of Oconto County. By the winter of 2009 Kathy Hanson would be dead by an alleged “suicide”.
Oconto County would have you believe they worked tirelessly on this murder when that is exactly the opposite of what they do. Not only did they place Kathy Hanson’s life in danger by re-interviewing her in 2009 they failed to protect her. But that’s what Oconto County does, they give criminals a higher regard than victims. There are several law enforcement agencies that finally brought this cold case to life and I immensely respect those that did. The two agencies that I do not is Oconto County Sheriffs Department, Officer Laskoswski and Oconto Falls Police Department. They couldn’t solve a solid colored Rubik’s Cube. Even with surveillance video of a burglar in a persons home Oconto Falls PD couldnn’t figure out and refuse to.
The lesson here is once again that Oconto County is inept in any investigation they start or refuse to start. Criminals and murderers run free for years. It’s only and only when the Wisconsin Department of Justice gets involved that anything is solved. Another lesson to learn is that Oconto County is dangerous to your health, safety and sanity.
My heart goes out to Chad McLean’s family and especially his mother, she deserved better than the fifteen years of shoddy police work. My heart also goes out to the children of these alleged murderers who now are fatherless and Hanson’s who have lost both parents. God bless the real investigators and do gooders in this case that had to come from outside of Oconto County’s little bubble of nepotism, corruption, collusion and cronyism to bring justice to crime victims everywhere. May God have mercy on the souls of Oconto County and the bungling idiots that run amok there for my child and I will never have such mercy.
While I appreciate that Oconto County et al is still watching this blog it never ceases to amaze me that CPS worker is so concerened about her name and posts about CPS workers LYING on their reports. . . right Carrie?
Yes my child has a voice and it’s very strong for being almost 15 years old. Since you don’t know how to do your jobs and hang around googling your names and searching this blog for info; here’s a little ditty for ya. The following is a piece of poetry my daughter wrote. She continually tells “mandated reporters” at her school about her home life with her father. Don’t you think it’s high time you did your job? I know my child thinks so and so do I.
Dedicated to CPS worker, Carrie Silbernagel-Burke and Oconto and Brown County Child Protection Agency
I go to school pretending
everything is fine
I say “I’m okay”
I can’t believe I still stick with that line.
I pretend I didn’t go through
a “father abusing me phase; life had a lot to face.
I don’t want anyones sorrows or
Yeah, I know it’s not all that shitty
That’s what you’ll say.
I want him to pay, pay for
everytime he would hit me.
All I would say is that
I miss my mom.
Is that so wrong?
I just want him to go away.
He causes me so much pain, physical pain.
Am I the one to blame?
Don’t feel sorry for me
And don’t forget my NAME
by M.M.H. (you know who I am)
If you want to show someone what sort of website A Voice for Men is, have them look at the following screenshot, which I’m putting below the jump because it may well trigger some readers in its depiction of the effects of domestic violence on women:
Custody “disputes” are deadly FYI!!!
This woman saved my life. When I was in a violent relationship I saw the particular story on Oprah. I recognized myself in these videos, trying had to be quiet to prevent his hands on me. The judge who sentenced this abuser was emotional when describing what he saw in that video of Susan. I wonder what did he see? Did he realize that domestic violence is far more damaging of a crime than originally thought? Do we really have the equal protection under law? We as survivors of intimate partner violence have come a long way. Just like Susan, I am a far cry from the subservient battered slave I once was.
If it were not for Susan and the countless other of survivors that have found their voice and share their story to the world to let us know, we are not alone, we are not crazy and you too can survive! My work on this blog and elsewhere has led me down a path filled with love and empowerment. My hope for the future is that all women will be protected as every human deserves. Since we cannot eradicate “abuse” it is up to law enforcement and the judiciary to be well-informed and educated on the subject of domestic violence. We have not only shattered that proverbial glass ceiling we are coming through it in masses.
You are not alone, your sisters are all around you, come find us!
In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month we want the world to know that we are here… we always have been. It was only up until recently with the slap in the face against domestic violence survivors and victims in Topeka Kansas that our voices have only gotten louder. We honor our fallen sisters who were not as lucky as we are to have survived a relationship. We have faith in knowing they are guiding us as we preserve their memory. Many are now gone but not forgotten, this is for you.
- Denise Everhart
- Richard Harmon
- Larry Wolgast
The City Council members who sold out Victims of Violence: (and need to be voted out)Dan Stanley- Interim City ManagerMayor Bill Bunton
The Councils email address and contact numbers are here: http://www.topeka.org/cityofficials/And to those I say:
- Karen Hiller
- John Alcala,Deputy Mayor
- Sylvia Ortiz
- Chad Manspeaker
- Bob Archer
- Andrew Gray
The seven Topeka City Council and District Attorney, Chad Taylor’s, off-the-cuff comments have a distinctly shrewish tone. If you disagree with my claim that it can plausibly be surmised that these stooges compress their traducements into brief, highly reductive, definitive-sounding phrases, easily memorized and easily expressed, then read no further. The Topeka City Council doesn’t simply want people to believe that “metanarratives” are the root of tyranny, lawlessness, overpopulation, racial hatred, world hunger, disease, and rank stupidity. It wants this belief drummed into people’s heads from birth. It wants it to be accepted as an axiom, an assumed part of the nature of reality. Only then will the Topeka City Council truly be able to get away with twisting the truth. In a Topeka City Council-led society, people who educate the public on a range of issues will be suppressed, vilified, hated, imprisoned, exiled, and killed. From this anecdotal evidence I would argue that if a cogent, logical argument entered their brains, no doubt a concussion would result. Once you begin to see the light you’ll realize that Topeka sees the world as somewhat anarchic, a game of catch-as-catch-can in which the sneakiest skivers nab the biggest prizes.You might not care that my message has always been that by supporting stupid, incontinent mountebanks with inferior moral standards, we devalue ourselves, the lives of our children, and the heroes who died for our freedoms, but you’d better start caring if you don’t want the Topeka City Council or District attorney to regiment the public mind as much as an army regiments the bodies of its soldiers. Emotionalism is a plague upon us all, a pox that will likely not be erased in the lifetime of any reader of this blog. To Topeka City Council, however, it’s merely a convenient mechanism for crushing any semblance of opposition to its filthy, combative apothegms. The baneful nature of Topeka’s fulminations is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify.It would seem the seven Topeka City Councilpersons have been working for years to create a faux moral and ideological climate in which cranky leeches can provide cover for a contumelious, anti-humanist agenda.And that’s all I have to say. For now…
Sunday, May 8, Mothers Day 2011, the Million Mom March has gathered participants and supporters for mothers who lost custody of their children in Family Courts across America. Mothers of Lost Children included Linda Marie Sacks representing the American Mothers Political Party.
Representative, and other valuable organizers have been present in this historic march, including NOW Foundation Family Law Ad Hoc Committee, Leadership Council, Justice For Children, Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment & Appeals Project, Stop Family Violence, Battered Mothers Custody Conference, Randi James, Protective Parents for Children’s Rights, California Protective Parent Association, Center for Judicial Excellence, Family Court in America, Talia Carner, and The Coalition Against Legal Abuse.
Tourists and visitors on Capital Hill read the banners with great interest, and displayed absolute shock at the horrors that they were exposed to. People still cannot believe that courts will rip babies away from their mothers, and court order them to live with their abusive or pedophile fathers.
One mother had a poster exclaiming, “792 since I have seen my son”, while other posters had political messages to the President and First Lady, Michelle Obama.
This year saw the participation of Linda Marie Sacks, a mother who has filed a landmark case in the US Supreme Court on the eve of mother’s day. Our prayers are directed to Linda Marie in her pursuit of a favorable decision. This case will pave the road for mothers across America who have the strength and resolve to fight. “Mommy, please do not ever stop fighting for us”. We won’t. We love you too much!
Press Release 02/08/11
World’s Most Famous Beach….World’s Most Scandalous Case
Florida Mother DENIED justice when Presiding Judge Torphy, Judge Evander and Judge Cohen REFUSED to Review Ruling En banc, Write Written Opinion, and Certify Questions to the Florida Supreme Court on 02/07/11
Constitutional and Human Rights Violations in Family Court Cases Rampant in the U.S.
In the “World’s Most Famous Beach”…Daytona Beach, Florida…………they also have the most scandalous case involving a wealthy millionaire, his power, money, and connections to the community that has most experts involved in the national crisis in the family courts regarding “custody visitation scandal cases” asking when will justice prevail for these Florida children and their Mother.
National advocates and organization’s are asking for federal investigations into the crisis in the family courts and have documented violations of litigants constitutional rights and are advocating for America’s children. The Leadership Counsel and Interpersonal Violence (www.leadershipcounsel.org) research shows that US family courts order about 58,000 children a year into unsupervised contact with physically or sexually abusive parents following divorce in the US.
Dr. Phil in April 2010 had the very 1st show regarding the family courts failure to protect abused children, and family court judges dismissing documented evidence of abuse, and taking away loving, caring Mothers.
Linda Marie Sacks, a “Squeaky Clean Mom”, is headed to the Florida Supreme Court and the U.S. Supreme Court in Washington D.C. in her continued efforts to be re-united with her children, and is speaking out about this injustice to her children, and the national crisis in the family courts. Her daughter’s teacher said..if you can lose custody, America better wake up, because if you can, anyone can. Her case is a Justice for Children case,(www.justiceforchildren.org)
and they are a national organization who advocate for children in abusive situations when “official avenues” judges, police, Dept of Children and Family, have failed to protect them.
On 12/21/10 she filed 3 pro se Motions asking the Fifth District Court of Appeals reconsider their 12/7/10 (Case 5D09-3752) ruling that has violated her constitutional rights to be a parent to her children. On 02/07/11, the Fifth District Court of Appeals, with Presiding Judge Torphy, Judge Evander and Judge Cohen, DENIED all of her Motions, and affirmed the erroneous ruling by the trial court of Judge Shawn L. Briese.
This is her second appeal before the court of appeals. In her first appeal, (Case 5D07-1682) the ruling on custody of her children was REVERSED AND REMANDED due to violations of this Mothers constitutional rights to due process and the opportunity to be heard. In their ruling they stated that Mothers hand written Motion for Continuance was legally sufficient, and should not have been denied by Judge Briese, and the hearing to decide custody of the minor children should NEVER have taken place. This rare reversal by an appeals court provided NO relief to Mother and her children as the trial court of Judge Shawn L. Briese refused to be disqualified from her case, or VACATE the unjust supervised visitation ruling.
Mother appealed to the Fifth District Court of Appeals in a Writ of Prohibition, (Case 5D08-3668) and provided documented evidence of judicial misconduct by Judge Briese, and the attorneys of record for the Father, James L. Rose of Rice and Rose, and Leonard R. Ross of Ross and Burden. The documented evidence of judicial misconduct included violations of Judges Canon #3, Fl. Ad Code 2.330, ex parte communication with the attorneys of record and violations of her constitutional rights. The Fifth District Court of Appeals DENIED her Writ and Judge Briese was allowed to hear the “Rehearing of the Custody of Minor Children” in April 2009.
In this hearing, (Case 2004-30312 FMCI) Judge Briese refused to allow Mothers witnesses to testify and refused to allow her exhibits. In his oral ruling he stated that mother did not buy greeting cards for children to give to the father, and mother did a Channel 9 news interview in New York and this was a concern to the court, and so she MUST continue to stay on Supervised Visitation. It WAS NOT a concern that Father admitted to an altercation with his daughter at 8 years old and this resulted in her getting a split lip and blood. This matched Mothers Domestic Violence Injunction of Protection, Police Reports and DCF reports. Father also admitted to “wiping down the vaginas” of his school age children, which also matched the Domestic Violence Injunction of Protection, Police and DCF reports. This credible evidence was DISMISSED, IGNORED and SUPRESSED by the trial court of Judge Shawn L. Breise, and now, DISMISSED, IGNORED and SUPRRESSED by the Fifth District Court of Appeals, as they have just AFFIRMED the trial court’s ruling.
With only 79 hours of contact in 3 years and 10 months…under Supervised Visitation at the local Family visitation center, for two hours a month……..this “squeaky clean” class Mom, soccer Mom, community volunteer, with no drugs, no alcohol, no abuse, nothing……just a loving, caring Mother lost custody of her children… will have to continue on with the Supervised Visitation, with NO case plan or reunification plan provided by the trial court. This Mother is the LONGEST family law referral in the history of the Daytona Beach supervised visitation center….now at 3 years and 10 months.
National Advocates, experts, and Mothers were in Albany, New York on Jan.7, 8,and 9th, 2011 for the Annual Battered Mothers Custody Conference,( www.batteredmotherscustodyconference.org) to address this national crisis of Mothers losing custody with documented evidence of abuse to their children, and safe, protective parents having all of their contact with their children either terminated by the family courts or are being place on supervised visitation for years without a case plan or reunification plan.
The trend documented by the latest research is that judges routinely dismiss, ignore and suppress documented evidence of abuse to the children in the “custody-visitation scandal cases”, and batterers are asking for Sole Physical Custody and are successful 70% of the time. www.apa.org/pi/viol&fam.hmtl and www.aja.ncsc.dni.us/domviol/pages5.html
The Florida NOW, National Organization for Women Ad Hoc Family Law Committee has published a brochure a “Crisis for Women in Family Court: What to Expect and How to Fight Back”. (www.nowfoundation.org/issues/family)
Numerous national organizations are demanding federal investigations into the crisis in the family courts and asking for congressional hearings to address these human rights violations to America’s children and their Mothers.
The latest research on this issue is in the book Domestic Violence, Abuse, and Child Custody Legal Strategies and Policy Issues Edited by Barry Goldstein, J.D. and Dr. Mo Therese Hannah. And can be found at www.civicresearchinstitute.com/dvac.html
Linda Marie’s daughters said “Mommy fight for us and do something every day to get us back and don’t ever stop. So after 3 years and 9 months, this Florida Mother is now more determined than ever, and is headed to the Florida Supreme Court and then on to the U.S. Supreme Court. She has kept her promise to her daughter’s and now she is speaking up for her children and all of America’s children.
For more information on this crisis in the family courts please contact:
Center for Judicial Excellence www.centerforjudicailexcellence.com
California Protective Parent Association www.protectiveparent.com
Domestic Violence Legal Empowerment and Appeals Project www.dvleap.org
Stop Family Violence www.stopfamilyviolence.org
Randi James www.randijames.com
Court Whores www.courtwhores.com
American Mothers Political Party www.AmericanMothersPoliticalParty.org
Family Court in America www.juliafletcher.wordpress.com
Talia Carner www.taliacarner.com
Protective Parents for Children’s Rights www.protectiveparent.ning.com
Liz Notes www.lizlibrary.org
Many thanks to all who are part of the solution to the crisis in the family courts. You are all true American heroes.
For contact information re: this press release please contact:
Linda Marie Sacks
Written by Melanie Smith, UN Mothers
END VIOLENCE AGAINST MOTHERS AND THEIR CHILDREN CAMPAIGN
As many are aware, there is a silent genocide occurring against women. This is part of a major reason why women all over the world are united to end violence against women. What many do not know or connect is that a lot of women experiencing violence perpetrated against them are also mothers. Many ads on stopping violence against women portray women without children as a means to get the message across clearly; but they fail to represent the large proportion of mothers in this situation.
Experts in intimate partner violence have noted that there is a high correlation between abuse and pregnancy. Some scholars state that this is because they are envious of the relationship between the mother and the child. Using violence, coercion and control is often part of the effort to destroy these bonds. The problem then exacerbates when a mother tries to leave–often not to save herself but to save the child. Leaving is one of the most dangerous times for all women enduring intimate partner violence, and, accompanied with an inadequate system, the odds are stacked against her. With a community plagued by stereotypes on child custody cases, closed courtrooms and loopholes in laws compounded by pop-psychology, we have a situation where most mothers in this predicament are torn away from the children they tried to protect. In the 1980s, Dr Richard Gardner coined the term, “Parent Alienation Syndrome”.
This term remained a term only, because most of the scientific community rejected it. His literature promoted ideas that victims of abuse were mentally ill and deliberately raised concerns about the abuse as an act of hate. Dr Richard Gardner also testified in a homicide case where a mother was shot 13 times. Gardner claimed that her “alienating behavior” drove him to kill her. Although the scientific community rejected Parent Alienation Syndrome, the legal community embraced it. Carefully removing the word “syndrome”, the belief set remained. Whilst his work began in US, he traveled around the world promoting these ideas to court professionals and others who had a direct influence on child custody case outcomes. Some organizations that offer training for judges even held workshops on “maternal gate-keeping”, which trivialized the experiences of women and children leaving intimate partner violence. Whilst Dr. Gardner passed away several years ago, his doctrine lives on and others have polished up his work to continue its grave influence upon the legal community.
Mothers are often subjected to degrading treatment within the courtrooms where they are forced to deny their experiences and their need to survive and protect–or they will face jail. All legal avenues within this culture are blocked. This is why we have a battered mothers custody conference where mothers, professionals and young people unite to end violence against women and children through the system. It is why I traveled all the way from Australia to be there this year amongst others who have also traveled from other parts of the globe to attend. It is a global issue that affects many.