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FACTS
MALES KILL MORE OFTEN THAN FEMALES…..
MALES ABUSE MORE OFTEN THAN FEMALES….
MURDER-SUICIDE, ABUSE OR ANY OTHER VIOLENT CRIME IS MORE OFTEN A MALE
I CHALLENGED ANY ONE TO PROVE ME WRONG…THE SILENCE IS DEAFENING….BUT I AM NOT QUIET
NEITHER IS USA TODAY WHO REPORTS THAT THE ECONOMY IS NOT THE ONLY REASON FOR THE HIGH VOLUMES OF MURDERS, SUICIDES, VIOLENCE AND FAMILICIDES.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2009-02-04-family_N.htm
Wendy Koch of USA TODAY reports that the economy has been blamed for a lot and that financial problems can be a factor but the scholars do suggest that the crime of “familicide” is rare.
“The economic downturn is not triggering a rash of this,” says Louis Schlesinger, professor of forensic psychology at John Jay College of Criminal Justice. Hundreds of thousands have been laid off recently, he notes, and more have lost money in the stock market, without killing their families.”
Since October, at least three men who lost jobs or money, two in California and one in Pennsylvania, killed themselves and their families.
The people who commit such crimes are almost always men, Schlesinger says.
“They honestly believe their family is better off dead than without them,” says Kristen Rand of the Violence Policy Center, a gun-control research group.
Her group has done three studies on slayings followed by suicide, but most did not involve the deaths of an entire family. In the first half of 2007, the most recent study found, murder-suicides caused 554 deaths, including 45 children under 18. Firearms were used in nine out of 10 cases.
Most murder-suicides, 78.5%, are caused by problems between intimate partners, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. A CDC report, using 2005 data from 16 states, found that financial problems were a factor in 8% of the 199 deaths studied.
Family slayings are usually one of two types, says Phillip Resnick, psychiatry professor at Case Western Reserve University. Some involve men who are angry at partners, who may have been unfaithful or want to leave the relationship, he says. Others involve men who lose their jobs or savings and, if they are vulnerable to depression, become hopeless or psychotic.
“There is a relationship (to finances), particularly when a man loses his job,” he says.
“It’s a combination of factors,” says Sampson Blair, a sociology professor at the University of Buffalo in New York. He says suicide, spouse-battering and child abuse increase slightly in bad times.
“It’s not the economic conditions per se but the stress created,” Blair says. “The sense of desperation pushes them right off the edge.”
He says that when people lose their jobs, they are at least twice as likely to commit suicide.
“Familicide is different,” Schlesinger argues. “Most people don’t kill their families when they lose their jobs.”
He says no one should expect family killings to increase in an economic downturn.
Schlesinger says it’s difficult to explain such horrific events. The killer doesn’t live to answer questions, so unless he leaves a suicide note, the reason may be unknown.
In Spring Garden Township, Pa., John Goodman, 39, left no note before killing his wife, their 2-year-old son and himself in November. He had lost his job of six years in August.
Police don’t know why he acted, but his job loss may have been a “stressor,” says Police Chief George Swartz.
In Whitehall, Ohio, last week, Mark Meeks, 51, killed himself, his wife and two children. He left a note but police won’t reveal its contents.
Detective Steven Brown says “financial problems were not a factor.” Meeks had just been hired at a car dealership.
Also last week, Ervin Lupoe, 40, killed himself, his wife, 8-year-old daughter, 5-year-old twin girls and 2-year-old twin boys in Wilmington, Calif. He and his wife had both lost their jobs.
Jealousy,
threats of violence part of Fort Lewis gunman’s
history
The man who fatally shot his ex-girlfriend before killing himself at Fort Lewis on Wednesday had previously threatened his former wife, according to court records.
Seattle Times staff reporter
The tipping point for the 59-year-old retired soldier who killed his former girlfriend at Fort Lewis before turning the gun on himself seemed to come when he learned she was dating another man, the victim’s family said.
Lafayette Meminger found out that Sharlona White, 33, had reunited with her high-school boyfriend and that the new man was moving to Washington state, White’s daughter said on Thursday.
“He told her that if he couldn’t have her, no one could,” said 14-year-old Zeunna Woodruff.
According to law-enforcement and Army officials, Meminger walked into the crowded main post exchange at Fort Lewis and fatally shot White at around 11:20 a.m. Wednesday. He then shot himself in the head, and he died a few hours later.
Meminger, of Lakewood, Pierce County, had retired from the Army as a sergeant first class in 1992. White was a civilian vendor, according to the Army.
The FBI, which is investigating the murder-suicide because both Meminger and White were civilians who died on a federal installation, did not release new information on Thursday.
According to court records and White’s family, jealous rage was not unusual for Meminger.
His former wife had sought an order of protection from him from a Pierce County Superior Court judge in November 2002. In her request, she stated that she had divorced Meminger in 1999 after 30 years of marriage.
“He did not bother me until one month ago when he found out that I am dating,” she stated in court documents.
Since that time, she wrote, he had staked out her apartment, left dirty and threatening messages on her voice mail and threatened to kill her boyfriend.
He had told relatives and friends that he planned to get a gun, go to the firing range and then “take me out,” she wrote.
“I think he is consumed by jealousy,” she stated. “He says a restraining order won’t stop him, that it’s just a piece of paper.”
The former wife also said Meminger had been arrested for stalking and harassing her in 1994. “He was dangerous then and I feel he is even more dangerous now,” she wrote.
The protection order was granted.
White, an East St. Louis, Mo., native who loved fashion and design ever since she was a child, moved to Washington before her children were born. She was working at a kiosk at the post exchange, or PX, selling clothing and jewelry of her own design.
She also ran a small clothing store in University Place that she’d named “ZnZ Wear” after her daughter and her 10-year-old son, Zaron.
Meminger was working as an unarmed guard at Western State Hospital.
Woodruff said her mother, a devoted Christian, had been introduced to Meminger about 18 months ago through a woman in her church.
“He was really good to us at first. He cooked and cleaned and said he would never hurt my mother, but then he tried to strangle her,” Woodruff said.
When that happened, about eight months ago, White broke up with Meminger, her family said.
“He became crazily obsessed, worse than in the movies,” Woodruff said. “He was coming around the house all the time, banging on the doors, banging on the windows. He would send crazy text messages to her and show up at her work all the time.”
About a week before she was killed, White and her two children had taken shelter at the Tacoma home of White’s parents. The night before her death, she had bought a dog for protection, her daughter said.
Her family urged her to get a restraining order, said her mother, Rose Braggs, but White didn’t believe that would help.
Meminger’s ex-wife couldn’t be reached Thursday. But the couple’s son said his family’s thoughts and condolences are with White’s family.
Maurice Meminger said his father had been a “good man and an awesome father.”
Nevertheless, “his actions don’t reflect our family,” he said.
Discrimination and abuse wrongly backed by doctrine are damaging society, argues the former US president
by Jimmy Carter
“Everyone is entitled to all the rights and freedoms set forth in this Declaration, without distinction of any kind, such as race, colour, sex, language, religion, political or other opinion, national or social origin, property, birth or other status …” (Article 2, Universal Declaration of Human Rights)“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:28)I have been a practising Christian all my life and a deacon and Bible teacher for many years. My faith is a source of strength and comfort to me, as religious beliefs are to hundreds of millions of people around the world.
So my decision to sever my ties with the Southern Baptist Convention, after six decades, was painful and difficult. It was, however, an unavoidable decision when th e convention’s leaders, quoting a few carefully selected Bible verses and claiming that Eve was created second to Adam and was responsible for original sin, ordained that women must be “subservient” to their husbands and prohibited from serving as deacons, pastors or chaplains in the military service. This was in conflict with my belief – confirmed in the holy scriptures – that we are all equal in the eyes of God.
This view that women are somehow inferior to men is not restricted to one religion or belief. It is widespread. Women are prevented from playing a full and equal role in many faiths.
Nor, tragically, does its influence stop at the walls of the church, mosque, synagogue or temple. This discrimination, unjustifiably attributed to a Higher Authority, has provided a reason or excuse for the deprivation of women’s equal rights across the world for centuries. The male interpretations of religious texts and the way they interact with, and reinforce, traditional practices justify some of the most pervasive, persistent, flagrant and damaging examples of human rights abuses.
At their most repugnant, the belief that women must be subjugated to the wishes of men excuses slavery, violence, forced prostitution, genital mutilation and national laws that omit rape as a crime. But it also costs many millions of girls and women control over their own bodies and lives, and continues to deny them fair access to education, health, employment and influence within their own communities.
The impact of these religious beliefs touches every aspect of our lives. They help explain why in many countries boys are educated before girls; why girls are told when and whom they must marry; and why many face enormous and unacceptable risks in pregnancy and childbirth because their basic health needs are not met.
In some Islamic nations, women are restricted in their movements, punished for permitting the exposure of an arm or ankle, deprived of education, prohibited from driving a car or competing with men for a job. If a woman is raped, she is often most severely punished as the guilty party in the crime.
The same discriminatory thinking lies behind the continuing gender gap in pay and why there are still so few women in office in Britain and the United States. The root of this prejudice lies deep in our histories, but its impact is felt every day. It is not women and girls alone who suffer. It damages all of us. The evidence shows that investing in women and girls delivers major benefits for everyone in society. An educated woman has healthier children. She is more likely to send them to school. She earns more and invests what she earns in her family.
It is simply self-defeating for any community to discriminate against half its population. We need to challenge these self-serving and out-dated attitudes and practices – as we are seeing in Iran where women are at the forefront of the battle for democracy and freedom.
I understand, however, why many political leaders can be reluctant about stepping into this minefield. Religion, and tradition, are powerful and sensitive area to challenge.
But my fellow Elders and I, who come from many faiths and backgrounds, no longer need to worry about winning votes or avoiding controversy – and we are deeply committed to challenging injustice wherever we see it.
The Elders have decided to draw particular attention to the responsibility of religious and traditional leaders in ensuring equality and human rights. We have recently published a statement that declares: “The justification of discrimination against women and girls on grounds of religion or tradition, as if it were prescribed by a Higher Authority, is unacceptable.”
We are calling on all leaders to challenge and change the harmful teachings and practices, no matter how ingrained, which justify discrimination against women. We ask, in particular, that leaders of all religions have the courage to acknowledge and emphasise the positive messages of dignity and equality that all the world’s major faiths share.
Although not having training in religion or theology, I understand that the carefully selected verses found in the holy scriptures to justify the superiority of men owe more to time and place – and the determination of male leaders to hold onto their influence – than eternal truths. Similar Biblical excerpts could be found to support the approval of slavery and the timid acquiescence to oppressive rulers.
At the same time, I am also familiar with vivid descriptions in the same scriptures in which women are revered as pre-eminent leaders. During the years of the early Christian church women served as deacons, priests, bishops, apostles, teachers and prophets. It wasn’t until the fourth century that dominant Christian leaders, all men, twisted and distorted holy scriptures to perpetuate their ascendant positions within the religious hierarchy.
I know, too, that Billy Graham, one of the most widely respected and revered Christians during my lifetime, did not understand why women were prevented from being priests and preachers. He said: “Women preach all over the world. It doesn’t bother me from my study of the scriptures.”
The truth is that male religious leaders have had – and still have – an option to interpret holy teachings either to exalt or subjugate women. They have, for their own selfish ends, overwhelmingly chosen the latter.
Their continuing choice provides the foundation or justification for much of the pervasive persecution and abuse of women throughout the world. This is in clear violation not just of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights but also the teachings of Jesus Christ, the Apostle Paul, Moses and the prophets, Muhammad, and founders of other great religions – all of whom have called for proper and equitable treatment of all the children of God. It is time we had the courage to challenge these views.
• Jimmy Carter was US president from 1977-81. The Elders are an independent group of eminent global leaders, brought together by Nelson Mandela, who offer their influence and experience to support peace building, help address major causes of human suffering and promote the shared interests of humanity.
Let it be known that I have had a love/hate relationship with Oprah since I was a child. I am almost 41 years of age but I can say that as a child in Chicago I watched Oprah when she was a lowly reporter on AM Chicago.
Oprah started to have shows that women really cared about and she cared about us. She got us to leave our abusers and that one day when I watched a woman named Susan sit with Oprah and talking about her life of abuse, soon after that show I left my abuser, for good.
So now in this August isssue of “O” magazine there is an article “Why Didn’t They Stop Him?,” by Phoebe Zerwick. It details of how Vernetta Cockerham
“did everything by the book. She took her abusive husband to court. Got a protective order. Reported his violations to the police. Yet in the end, none of that was enough to prevent the worst tragedy she could imagine. Why aren’t the laws against domestic violence enforced?”
Gee…let’s think about this one
Instead of the chastising that women received about the Rhianna case, where Oprah instructed that if “he hits you once he’ll hit again” now we’re getting understanding, finally. Oprah is finally wrapping her head around the concept that it’s easier said than done getting out of an abusive relationship and harder still when children are involved.
As we’ve seen in 2009 with the surge in domestic violence and subsequent murders (murder-suicides)
The most dangerous time for a woman is when she leaves her abuser.
Abusers make it hard for you to leave and when and if you do they really make your life hell. I lost my job because my ex vandalized my vehicle not to mention the other economic, social and other forms of control. The most important factor in leaving an abuser is having family, friends and government to be your support system, that doesn’t usually happen.
Family and friends will shy away from an abused woman…not wanting to get involved and the government will ignore you and usually fail to protect you.
NOT to mention what they do to you in Family Court.
I am a lucky one because I am literally a survivor. I saw the future if I stayed and I saw death, his or mine and I was sure it wasn’t going to be mine.
So thank you once again Oprah for shedding a light on the dirty secrets of domestic violence….we could have done it without you….mostly.
Although we survivors have learned, the hard way, that we won’t get the help we need or deserve so we’ll have to do it ourselves as with leaving an abuser and don’t expect any Oprah’s on white horses to save you….save yourself first.
http://www.oprah.com/article/omagazine/200908-omag-domestic-violence
British scientists grow sperm in laboratory
GUESS SOMEONE JUST GOT DOWNSIZED
Women who say they don’t need a man may well be right – after human sperm was created in the lab.
I already know what is going to be said, I hate men and that is a lie, because there is one in particular I love very much. He is the man that I wished I could of made a father because he is the one that very much deserved to be one.
Still….I can’t help but wonder what it would be like if you took out the factor of the one thing allegedly women only want men for and the one thing that they are good at (impregnating their sperm). This could be an end of child support! This could be the start of something beautiful…..
CONFUSION
CONFUSION
NEXT THING YOU KNOW MEN WILL WANT YEARLY PAP SMEARS AND MAMMOGRAMS……….yeah right.
I try not to get into the habit of giving any of the father rights idiots anymore attention, but then I think about all the people that need to be educated on the blatant misogyny that Glenn Sacks and his minions bathe in.
In a recent post on Glenn Sacks rag “Mens Daily News” he confesses that,
“I posed as a male victim of domestic violence and called every domestic violence shelter in all of Los Angeles and San Diego counties.”
Isn’t it illegal to prank call?
According to Sacks,
“Not a single one would accept me or offer assistance, with the exception of Valley Oasis. Most flatly refused any assistance at all, but a couple did offer me space in a homeless shelter.” Apparently Sacks cares not for the women that may be stalked there and an ex may pretend he’s abused to gain entrance? All those calls must have put all residents and staff on high alert, how awful to be stressed more.
Mr. Sacks must be confused about a lot of things, mainly his gender. Sacks goes on to say when he asks them “Am I supposed to take my children to a homeless shelter?”
If you TRULY are a abused man allegedly with children and you are escaping an abuser a homeless shelter seems like the safest place to be.
But this is the typical trash from a man that makes you wonder how he treats other women in his life, wife, mother, sister or child?
The world according to these father rights activists is that feminism destroyed their lives.
They want you to believe that men are abused equally if not MORE than women but yet they do NOTHING to get their OWN shelters for the throngs of men who get their ass whipped by their women. Women and men saw a need and they built shelters for women with their children a safe haven from abusers.
The intention was clear, if your men group needs to have some place to go after they get raped by their wives after a night of boozing it up….build a male sexual abuse shelter!
If one of your brethren gets his face shoved into the carpet because he didn’t do ALL the dishes…by all means build that man a place to live.
IF he gets a baby bottle “tossed” at his face (while he’s holding a baby) then I say build a SHELTER! Instead of blaming shelters and everyone else for your problems do something about it!
END YOUR CONFUSION
CALLING ALL FATHER RIGHTS GROUP….WE’RE STILL KEEPING COUNT…..WHERE IS YOUR STATISTICS THAT WOMEN/MOTHERS KILL MORE THAN MEN/FATHERS? COME ON…..WE KNOW YOU CAN LIE SOME MORE…..JUST ASK MENS DAILY FUCKS
MURDERER
By Jim Staats
Marin Independent Journal
The 27-year-old son of the late pornography king Jim Mitchell was booked into Marin County Jail early Monday on suspicion of beating to death the Novato mother of his 1-year-old daughter.
James Raphael Mitchell, of Pittsburg, was detained late Sunday night in Citrus Heights, near Sacramento, after fleeing with the toddler, triggering a statewide Amber Alert.
James Mitchell is suspected of killing 29-year-old Danielle Keller, a Novato High School graduate who was living with her mother and the couple’s daughter, Samantha Mitchell, on Diablo Court in Novato. Police found Keller dead in the backyard when they responded to a call at 6:53 p.m. Sunday about a possible assault.
Mitchell was located using cell phone technology in Citrus Heights and arrested at 11:59 p.m. Sunday by local police. Samantha was recovered unharmed and was placed with child protective services in Sacramento, according to Novato police Capt. Jim Berg.
“They will most likely contact Marin County child protective services to coordinate the best location for the child,” Berg said.
Mitchell was booked in Marin County Jail at 6:50 a.m. Monday on suspicion of murder, child concealment, violation of court orders and domestic violence, according to police. He was due to be be arraigned in Marin Superior Court at 1:30 p.m. Tuesday. His attorney was reported to be former San Francisco district attorney Terence Hallinan.
Marin County Coroner Kenneth
Holmes said the cause of death was blunt force head trauma. Berg said police have a suspected weapon, though he declined further comment. There have been unconfirmed reports that a baseball bat was used.Keller’s mother, Claudia Stevens, spoke outside her home Monday morning as investigators searched for evidence on the property and yard behind her.
Stevens said she arrived home at about 5 p.m. Sunday after a Giants afternoon baseball game and was playing with Samantha, who was celebrating her first birthday. They had an ice cream cake ready for the young girl and Stevens went to visit some friends at 5:30 p.m. when she received a phone call from neighbors.
“They said I better get back over here right away,” said Stevens, a retired California Highway Patrol officer from Bakersfield. “I asked if Dani was OK and they told me she was dead and Samantha was missing.
“She was such a wonderful mother,” said Stevens of her daughter, who moved in with her six months ago after leaving the Pittsburg home she had shared with Mitchell.
Shaking with emotion as she spoke, Stevens said she saw Samantha on television Monday morning in the arms of a police officer.
“She seemed to be OK,” Stevens said. “She’s such a loving child.”
Stevens said her daughter, who worked in the cosmetics industry, had been interviewing for a new job and was trying to get her life back together after exiting an abusive relationship with Mitchell. She said the two had met two years ago at a club in San Francisco.
San Rafael attorney Charlotte Hideko Huggins represented Keller six months ago, helping her to gain a domestic violence restraining order against Mitchell.
Hideko Huggins said she had just mailed paperwork for a three-year restraining order Friday to Mitchell that he likely received Saturday.
Gina Stahl-Ricco of Novato was a fellow Novato High School graduate with Keller in 1998 who reconnected with “Dani” recently through Novato Mothers Club events.
“She moved back here six months ago to get away from this horrible person,” Stahl-Ricco said. “She always seemed bubbly and happy even though she was going through hard times. She was so committed to Sam. She was trying to get a support system here. She was trying to make a good life for Sam. She knew that’s what it was all about.”
Stahl-Ricco said although Mitchell had been abusive to her, Keller wavered in recent months about going back to him until she caught him doing drugs a month ago.
“She was sympathetic to his cause and would say ‘Oh, I hope he gets some help he’s had a tough past’ and I would tell her it doesn’t matter” and that she should stay away from him because he had allegedly hit her.
She said Keller was constantly having to ignore calls on her cell phone from Mitchell and had become increasingly scared of his recent messages.
“Sadly, it’s like you hear: You have a child together with somebody and you want it to work out and be ideal,” Stahl-Ricco said. “It didn’t seem like he wanted help.”
Hideko Huggins said Sunday was also the two-year anniversary of the death of porn king Jim Mitchell, the suspect’s father.
The elder Mitchell had developed a multimillion-dollar adult-film empire with his younger brother, Artie, and later was convicted of killing Artie in 1991 in Corte Madera. Jim Mitchell died on July 12, 2007 at his ranch near Petaluma at age 63 after serving three years of a six-year sentence for manslaughter in San Quentin State Prison.
Longtime Mitchell family friend Warren Hinckle, a veteran Bay Area author and journalist, said he saw Mitchell on July 5 at a party celebrating the 40th anniversary of the opening of the Mitchell brothers’ O’Farrell Theater. Hinckle said Mitchell had recently been doing well, having worked for a time at his family’s theater and serving in the Marines as a weekend reserve.
“He seemed in good shape to me, but a little tense,” he said. “I’m not sure how well domestic life suited him.”
A donation fund in the name of both Danielle Keller and Samantha Mitchell has been set up at Chase Bank, 1595 Grant Ave. in Novato.
Contact Jim Staats via e-mail at jstaats@marinij.com; IJ reporters Jim Welte and Brent Ainsworth contributed to this report.
Who is listening?
What did we do to deserve this?
Where is our advocates?
When will the murders stop?
How are you sleeping at night?
Below is map of most of the murder-suicides
that are plaguing our world.
GUARDIAN AD CHARGEM a.k.a. GUARDIAN AD LITEM
Appointed by a judge to act in a child’s best interest, some lawyers can also help themselves by billing a small fortune
By Bob Whitby
For most people who help kids entangled in the legal system, the only reward is the warm glow that comes from having done a good deed. For a lucky few, however, the payback is more pecuniary. Downright lucrative in some cases.How do you go from being a concerned citizen to being a concerned citizen who gets paid? By becoming a private guardian ad litem. But there are a few hurdles you’ll have to clear first.
First you’ll need a law degree, and membership in the Florida Bar helps to get in this club. Besides, there’s really no better way to meet and schmooze with family court judges, which is the second thing you want to do. Make sure the judges know you like kids.
Then sit back and wait for a juicy divorce or custody case to pop up, preferably one involving at least one rich parent able to pony up big time and several kids. You might have to handle a couple smaller cases for 1000 bucks or less to prove your worth. But sooner or later, if you’ve done your networking, the judge might remember you fondly and put your name on an order appointing a guardian ad litem in a contentious case involving well-heeled parents. If you’re extra lucky, the judge won’t dictate how much you can charge or how many hours you can put into the case. Now you’re in the money.
A guardian ad litem is a person appointed to act in a child’s best interest in legal proceedings, usually a shield between warring parents. The guardians are also investigators. In custody cases, for example, the court needs to know which parent is best suited to have primary custody. Parents who don’t want to lose their children are not the best sources of objective information, so it falls to the guardian ad litem to make a recommendation.
Every circuit court system in Florida has a publicly funded Guardian Ad Litem Program. Usually administered by a few overworked staffers, these programs recruit and train laypeople — non-lawyers — to be guardians ad litem, which is Latin for “guardians at law.” These guardians are volunteers; they serve because they want to help kids and are to be commended for it. Putting oneself in the middle of a disintegrating family is, as one guardian put it, “like sticking your head in a meat grinder.”
Volunteer guardians are assigned in cases where the parties cannot afford a private guardian. (Broward County is in desperate need of volunteer guardians, with about 1000 kids waiting for their services.)
But if a judge decides one party or the other can pay, then pay they must. That happens in a small percentage of cases and usually only in divorce or custody matters. Dependency cases, where abuse and neglect are the issue, tend to involve foster children and people who simply don’t have much money. As one guardian ad litem put it, “Dependency is the redheaded stepchild of the court house.”
A private guardian ad litem is almost always a lawyer (but isn’t serving in that capacity, which would be a conflict of interest), and that’s when the bills can start to mount.
Unless you regularly sit in on court proceedings, there is no way to determine which lawyers repeatedly get assigned as guardians ad litem. The county’s Guardian Ad Litem Program keeps tabs only on volunteers, not private, paid guardians.
Court watcher Eleanor Mendlein has sat through a lot of divorce and custody cases in the last few years, and she sees patterns in who gets assigned. “The same people get appointed over and over again,” says Mendlein. “It’s money. If you have deep pockets, you get due process.”
Through the court watchers, New Times found three instances in which paid guardians made big money — as much as $40,000-plus for a single case — advocating for children. Not surprisingly, such dollar figures raise questions of bias. If your ex is paying a guardian ad litem thousands of dollars, will the guardian be influenced by the one who foots the bill?
“The concern is real, but I don’t know if it’s justified,” says Melinda Brown, a family-law attorney who also works as a private guardian ad litem. “I deal with a whole lot more issues than who pays me.”
But the people who’ve been through the system in divorce or custody cases think differently. “These guardians don’t care anything about kids,” says Teresa Cummings, who battled with her ex-husband over custody of their two children. “Believe me, they don’t.”
After their divorce, Cummings’ husband decided he wanted custody of their children. The judge appointed a private guardian ad litem, and Cummings’ ex-husband paid the bills. “They got money from the person who has it, which in this case was my ex,” she says.
She can’t quite put her finger on it, but Cummings had the feeling the guardian ad litem was swayed by her ex-husband. “She would say things to me to aggravate me,” Cummings says. She also says she had no idea the guardian was an attorney and didn’t realize who was paying the bills until the case was almost over.
Perhaps Cummings’ fears were overstated, because she ultimately prevailed in the case and kept primary custody of her children. The guardian’s bill was about $5000.
That’s small change compared to a $27,000 bill for guardian ad litem work in the case of Ulbrich v. Ulbrich.
John Ulbrich and Christina Coolidge Ulbrich were already divorced when guardian ad litem Jeffrey Bryer came into their lives. At issue was visitation for Christina’s daughter, Nichole. Though he is neither Nichole’s biological nor adoptive father, John wanted visitation rights with the child. Christina didn’t feel her ex was entitled but gave in to avoid a costly legal battle. The case was settled out of court but not before the guardian ad litem wrote a 55,000-word journal on every aspect of the Ulbrich’s lives and charged John Ulbrich $75 for each of the 365 hours he spent doing it.
“I think he is a frustrated writer,” says John Ulbrich.
And not a very good guardian ad litem to boot, he adds. “It was just an absolute horror, a nightmare. [Bryer] had no ability to gain confidence with my daughter.”
Bryer recommended that John Ulbrich be granted visitation rights and devised a somewhat complicated schedule to that effect. Though he was the one who requested that a guardian ad litem be appointed in the first place, Ulbrich refused to pay what he believed to be a wildly inflated bill. Not that he couldn’t have paid if he wanted — Ulbrich owns a Jaguar dealership on Sunrise Boulevard. Bryer, who did not answer repeated phone calls for this story, settled for $16,500.
And then there’s the granddaddy of all guardian ad litem bills, a $40,000-plus whopper for services rendered in the divorce case of Gumberg v. Gumberg.
Again the pattern: Rich husband pays the bill, less financially endowed wife feels shafted by the system.
The Gumbergs’ divorce case defines contentious — the case file sprawls over 21 volumes. Lorraine Abruzzo Gumberg says her legal bill alone is more than $200,000. She estimates her ex-husband’s bill at close to $800,000, a figure which could not be confirmed because Andrew Gumberg did not return phone calls from New Times.
At the heart of this mess is the custody of a four-year-old boy. The guardian ad litem recommended custody be awarded to the father, with the mother having visitation rights. Not surprisingly, that didn’t sit well with Lorraine Gumberg. “I didn’t stand a chance,” she says. “I lost custody of my child.”
Gumberg says the guardian ad litem criticized her for picayune things, like feeding her son from a bottle though he was 20 months old and letting him sleep in bed with her. The guardian also suggested that, should custody be awarded to the husband, the wife should live close by so the child’s life would not be unduly interrupted. Gumberg scoffs at the notion, noting that her ex-husband, whose worth is put at some $32 million in court records, lives in a $2.5 million waterfront home in Fort Lauderdale. “The idea was that Jordan should not have to go from dad’s beautiful house to mom’s trailer park,” she says. “That’s bullshit.”
Anne Alper, the guardian ad litem in the Gumberg case, was out of town and could not be reached for this story.
In the end Gumberg says her ex-husband got the best legal help money could buy. “I just don’t think the system works right,” she says. “I think the system sucks. He has money. I don’t. That’s the bottom line.”
San Jose man recounts murder-suicide that left wife dead
Shane Coffman kissed his wife goodbye, and opened the garage door in his San Jose home — expecting to slip on his shoes, drive his stepdaughter to Chinese school, and face a typical Monday morning at work. Instead the electrical engineer faced his wife’s ex-boyfriend.
He had a gun. It was pointed right at Coffman.
Before Coffman’s five-hour ordeal was over, he had dodged a hail of bullets, sprinting down the street in his socks. Neighboring townhomes and a mobile home park were evacuated, and San Jose police flooded the area, believing Coffman’s wife was being held hostage.
But Ying “Brandi” He was dead, slain in her kitchen in front of her 9-year-old daughter. After fatally shooting her, Jian Ming “Nelson” Liang turned the gun on himself, according to police.
On Thursday, for the first time since the murder-suicide in their Montecito Vista townhouse, Coffman told his story in an exclusive interview with the Mercury News. He described how his pretty, cheerful wife had come into his life after leaving China and then her obsessive, troubled boyfriend. He described in detail what happened that day as the bullets cut past him, one tearing his earlobe. And he told of his grief and confusion that no one could save his wife.
“We were starting a very good life together,” Coffman said. “We just bought a house. We were elated. Life was good. Now I have to accept what happened and deal with the consequences. “
“But I’m also
asking, ‘Is there something else that should have been done?’ ” he said. “I expected something could have been done right then to stop the torment of my wife.”
His family’s tragedy began that morning with Coffman facing the armed Liang.
“I froze, he froze,” Coffman, 35, said. “He was nervous, I think. He dropped his clip on the floor. I went for it. He picked it up and ran away to reload.”
Liang came back quickly, firing. Bullets whizzed past Coffman. His stepdaughter ran inside to hide. His wife phoned 911. It was 8:39 a.m.
Coffman ran inside. Liang fired again and again, chasing him out of the townhome. Coffman ran down the street, followed by Liang in his gold Lexus.
“I was thinking, ‘He wants to take me out first.’ “
Then Liang appeared to drive away. Coffman ran back home, only to find it locked. He later realized Liang had somehow returned to the home first. Coffman decided to run for help at a neighbor’s.
His stepdaughter joined him minutes later, screaming, “Mommy’s bleeding all over the place.”
Police arrived. It was 8:49 a.m.
Try at establishing contact
The San Jose Police Department’s MERGE team — also known as SWAT — arrived at the scene soon after patrol officers. At this point, police believe the woman was dying or dead. But the elite team did not enter the home because there were no signs of shooting or life inside, sources told the Mercury News. Facing earlier reports of gun shots and then silence, they set up a perimeter, and tried unsuccessfully to establish contact. When they finally determined there were no threats, they went in.
Inside they found the two bodies.
Coffman is left with a stepdaughter and memories.
He and Brandi met seven years ago while she was waitressing. He was her regular customer and then her friend. He became her husband in South Lake Tahoe two years ago.
The couple had long been leery of Liang and worried he could be capable of violence. A 2003 stalking charge was dismissed against Liang for threatening to kill the two of them, even though Coffman said neither he nor his wife were called as witnesses.
Ying He and Liang came to the United States from China in 1999, Coffman said. They had a baby girl in the Bay Area on June 14, 2000. Liang sent the girl to live with his wealthy parents in Guangzhou, and because Ying He had pending immigration status, she couldn’t freely travel between the countries.
In 2006, Ying He discovered her daughter and Liang were living in Southern California. She also discovered, Coffman said, that her ex-boyfriend, a gambler, was short on cash.
“They made a deal,” Coffman said. “Brandi said she’d give Nelson some money and he said he’d give her their daughter.”
But Liang reneged on his part of the deal, Coffman said, and disappeared with the girl. Coffman and his wife hired an attorney to find Liang and fight for full custody. After about two years, Liang and the girl surfaced again in Southern California. In March, Liang didn’t pick his daughter up from school one day, and police reports show Liang told school officials in Arcadia that he no longer wanted to care for his child. He was soon arrested and pleaded no contest to child endangerment. The girl was put in state care.
Daughter home with Mom
Finally, on April 6, Ying He was able to bring her daughter home for the first time. They painted Easter eggs together. They went to therapy. They played ball in the yard. Ying He, by then a respiratory therapist at El Camino Hospital, took her daughter to work. Colleagues said she was beaming.
Liang still had visitation rights and weekly phone calls.
On Sunday, the day before the shooting, Liang called to speak with his daughter, asking her strangely specific questions about her schedule. Coffman believes Liang was casing the family for the attack.
When Coffman and his stepdaughter were about to go to New Concept Chinese School in Sunnyvale on Monday morning at 8:35 a.m., Liang was waiting.
Now, Coffman is trying to put back together his life, make funeral arrangements for a woman he calls “someone very special and a beautiful person inside,” and establish legal custody to raise his stepdaughter as his own.
“She’s a beautiful little girl,” Coffman said. “I’m going to provide for her the life that she deserves.”
